Basically my life.
If you need me, I'll be never leaving the house...
Already on edge checking in with friends in Boston, then go outside to see about 5 NYPD emergency response tanks circling the G train stop on my corner. I guess a body on the tracks is better than a bomb though. Just kidding, everything is terrible forever.
Dear New York, I am actually kind of digging the rolling doom clouds right now. Can I get a legit thunderstorm? xo, byrneunit ETA: Well that was fast! Apparently New York weather has awesome customer service. Or I am magic and control the weather. Either way… win-win.
the-hateface-formerly-known-as-cuntboss got arrested for assault. specifically the lowest-level domestic violence assault. or, as the mastermind of Operation Freebird put it when she alerted me to this fact, being “a tantrummy manbeater”. (and i know that domestic violence is terrible always and should never make me happy and i wouldn’t say it makes me happy it’s more of a...
Can we talk about boehner’s handshake yanking?
New personal low:
Getting a stitch in my side while eating. BRB throwing myself in front of a bus because uuuuugh.
VERY IMPORTANT PSA
Addams Family Values is streaming on Netflix right now. RUN, MY CHILDREN. (I have been waiting for this moment. So. Long.)
Having only left the house today to fetch wine, I feel good about my life choices.
Beat both mom & grandma at intergenerational canasta. Life: complete.
i may or may not have watched an entire season of parks & rec today at the expense of any other thing in my life that i should be doing.
when it rains, water comes flooding in/down/around the unfinished hole around the door. not dripping. FLOODING.