January 2012
10 posts
4 tags
I'm fairly certain one of my elderly neighbors is...
…because there are flies in mine. For the first time ever in 3 years. For no discernable reason (i.e. not the trash, not the cat’s litterbox, not the chinchilla’s cage, there is an acceptable level of cleanliness and certainly no more grime than usual). There are about 10 flies chilling in various parts of the apartment and every time I kill one, I see 2 more. No smells yet but...
Jan 26th
After a date rape (by a "poet") during a trip to... →
motherjones: “The Way It Was”: Abortion in the US before Roe v. Wade. this article is so good.  In the same book, a man who assisted in autopsies in a big urban hospital, starting in the mid-1950s, describes the many deaths from botched abortions that he saw. “The deaths stopped overnight in 1973.” He never saw another in the 18 years before he retired. “That,” he...
Jan 20th
1,630 notes
that feeling when the cashier at the deli and the...
apparently greasy hair and chapped lips are a good look for me.
Jan 19th
Jan 18th
Jan 18th
8 notes
Jan 12th
14 notes
Should The Times Be A Truth Vigilante? →
hallekiefer: soupsoup: I hope this is a joke. The New York Times Public Editor wonders aloud if their journalists should be reporting the truth. Seriously? “I’m looking for reader input on whether and when New York Times news reporters should challenge “facts” that are asserted by newsmakers they write about.” Oh my god, this is embarrassing. This is like if your office was preparing the...
Jan 12th
160 notes
schadenfreude tuesday
operationfailure: byrneunit: nothing like hearing that the-hateface-formerly-known-as-cuntboss is knocked up, had a shotgun wedding to a dude who is going to be on a submarine for the foreseeable future, and quit the job that gave her an inflated sense of importance to move back in with her parents across the country.  i feel so good about my life choices right now. I miss your stories about...
Jan 10th
8 notes
3 tags
schadenfreude tuesday
nothing like hearing that the-hateface-formerly-known-as-cuntboss is knocked up, had a shotgun wedding to a dude who is going to be on a submarine for the foreseeable future, and quit the job that gave her an inflated sense of importance to move back in with her parents across the country.  i feel so good about my life choices right now.
Jan 10th
8 notes
1 tag
it was inevitable
boyfriendunit: Well the day has finally arrived
me: ...?
boyfriendunit: Your mother wants to friend me on facebook
Jan 5th
1 note
December 2011
4 posts
3 tags
nothing like 8 hours of vertigo to mark the mid-week!
Dec 29th
while i was initially sad to be staying in NYC for the holidays instead of being with my parents and sister, seeing my 92 yr old grandpa—veteran of multiple wars and general badass motherfucker—cover up tears yesterday by pretending to be napping after opening gifts with my aunts & grandma… any regrets completely blown away.
Dec 26th
1 note
Dec 9th
24 notes
Dec 1st
7,451 notes
November 2011
10 posts
1 tag
Nov 23rd
subjecting my one present coworker to a day of joy division, the cramps, amanda palmer and joni mitchell as revenge for making me listen to shitty pop mixes every other day of the year.
Nov 23rd
1 note
why don’t i ever learn to stop eating BEFORE i want to die?
Nov 22nd
Nov 16th
2,079 notes
Nov 14th
2 notes
2 tags
Nov 7th
beautiful sunny fall morning, sitting in a diner stuffing a bacon omelet in my face, listening to a jewish reggae band (i don’t even) and watching the crazy parade of fitness that is the ny marathon go by the window: never have i felt so satisfied with my decision to be a lazy fatass for life.
Nov 6th
learning new skills out of spite
you hear that, presumably drunk asshole who kicked the passenger side mirror off of my car? that’s the sound of me gleefully buying a set of socket wrenches and a new mirror and learning how to replace it myself.
Nov 5th
Nov 4th
259 notes
Nov 3rd
1,050 notes
October 2011
3 posts
Oct 31st
6,044 notes
Oct 31st
Oct 29th
September 2011
9 posts
1 tag
Sep 28th
1,069 notes
every time i get nauseous like this, i wonder “am i one of those ladies who doesn’t know she’s pregnant until labor?”
Sep 27th
2 tags
amazing things our customer service woman has said...
“sir. SIR. could you please start over and just use letters.” “ok i see the problem here. you didn’t enter an address. the post office can’t deliver things to you if you don’t enter an address.” “what’s the difference between cubes and balls, that’s your question? … well…. balls are… round… and cubes are...
Sep 21st
3 tags
seriously bummed that i will probably never be able to make fried rice this delicious again when it is planned and i am sober.
Sep 20th
1 note
Sep 14th
oh wordpress.
maybe one day i won’t want to punch you in the face.
Sep 11th
Sep 7th
6 notes
thanks, weather
for making every previously broken bone in my body take turns sending those stabby pain signals to my brain. 
Sep 6th
1 tag
Sep 5th
1,353 notes
August 2011
11 posts
Aug 31st
apparently one person in our 6 person office has bronchitis and another person has strep. don’t mind me, i’ll just be over here bathing in lysol.
Aug 30th
securing the perimeter, baking bread and lining up spanish bodego prayer candles. we got this.
Aug 27th
final hurricane preparedness text from...
“PS I also got enough gin to choke an elephant”
Aug 26th
Aug 25th
2 tags
Aug 23rd
how did i just miss a freaking earthquake? apparently by being outside walking in the amazingly perfect weather. OH WELL.
Aug 23rd
of montreal and storyboarding? alright sunday night. you’re alllllllllllright.
Aug 22nd
THIS
good sirs/NYC-folks, is a fabulous louisiana-style thunderstorm like i grew up with (extra bonus points if the sun comes back out in 10 minutes).
Aug 19th
3 tags
boyfriendunit, earlier this evening, while eating...
“This is maybe really random but… do you mind if I take my pants off at the dinner table?”
Aug 18th
dear verizon workers protesting outside my office
1. please let them finish fixing our phones so that our business can actually run. if our business doesn’t run, i don’t have a job. 2. STOP IT WITH THE FUCKING AIRHORN. the sympathy i have for you in the whole “verizon is maybe fucking you over” situation is rapidly fading because you are BEING GODDAMN ASSHOLES. protest, signs, chant, fine that’s awesome but someone...
Aug 17th
July 2011
9 posts
the one good thing about this heat is it makes me bring a stupid salad for lunch to avoid having to walk outside to get food.
Jul 21st
Jul 19th
operationfailure: byrneunit: The informational video they show before jury duty in brooklyn is pretty hilarious. They might, however, need to update it with some “not every crime involves dna evidence” footage for these modern everyone’s-a-csi times. THIS! I had to sit through this video last year! For the love of Pete, don’t get picked! I got called with 60+ people to a court room, then...
Jul 18th
3 notes