“I can’t believe this! When I lived here this was where the Hasidic men would come to pick up prostitutes and now there’s a fucking Duane Reade!”—my aunt, on the phone with me, walking in south williamsburg which is maybe just a little bit changed from when she lived there in the 70s.
just helped my kitty catch a lightening bug in the house! obviously she immediately lost interest in the thing that is the combination of her two favorite things (blinking lights and bugs) and demanded that i help her catch a moth because duh.
they opened a ferry pier one block from my apartment: pros and cons
cons: - increased hipster douchery concentration - increased foot, cycle, and automotive traffic - increased demand for parking and decreased ability to pull crazy U-turns on west street to snag that parking spot before NO FUCK YOU THAT IS MY SPOT AUUUUGH!!
pros: - increased foot traffic = less sketchy mess when moving the stupid car for stupid alternate side parking every. damn. day. - and heyyyy they cleaned up all the dogshit on this formerly abandoned block!! seriously, epic amounts of dog shit. EPIC. - WOOOO FERRY! Downtown Brooklyn in less than 1.5 hours! Governor’s Island!!
the online “fitness” tracker i started using to shame me into being healthier warned me that i have eaten too few calories today due to sleeping until 1pm. obviously i will be compensating with more wine. you know. for my health.